What a year it has been! So many changes...I'm not sure where to begin.

First off I suppose is the fact that I have been cancer free for a over a year! My chemo fogged brain is slowly getting back to normal and I am feeling so much better! The only health issue I am dealing with now is a whacked out thyroid. I had a thyroid ablation in March because I could not get my thyroid regulated with medication. I was either hyper or hypo.

So, I now have a totally deactivated thyroid, no thyroid hormone activity whatsoever. As a result I  have no energy, depression/moodiness, brittle shredding fingernails, and more memory problems among other things. However, I saw my endocrinologist on Friday and have been placed on Synthroid, which I will be on for the rest of my life, Cytomel which is used  with the Synthroid to jump-start my thyroid working again. In a week or two I should be back to relative normal~ YAY!

 In other parts of my life, I was transferred to our administration office, which necessitated moving across town to a new apartment. Due to the above mentioned health problems, I am still settling into my new home, which I have been in since December. Almost everything is done except my dining room and living room, both of which looks like a storage room. I have confidence I will have  most of this done in a couple of weeks, specially once my energy and more importantly my motivation is back to normal.

Which brings me to my body health and weight. Thanks in part to lack of thyroid, I have put more weight on than I might normally have. This is by no means the only reason I have gained weight, however, another side effect of none working thyroid is a decreased appetite. So I kinda scratch my head when I gain weight and I am not eating nearly as much normally do.

On the upside, with having taken steps to get my health back to normal, I am motivated to pick up where I left off and start Sparking again. I went shopping today and bought only healthy food to fill my fridge with. I chopped and pre-portioned my fruits and veggies so I can just reach in my fridge when making my lunch and dinner and know I have the proper portions without having to think about it. Whole grains, fresh (and frozen) fruit and veggies, skinless chicken, cereal and even small bags of popcorn, I am ready for the week. I even bought a new scale for weighing myself once a week.

Now I need to get motivated to move! This may take a little more work on my part...need to get motivated and excited again. I will be more likely once my energy returns, but I can't wait til I am totally there...I must start where I am. May a little dancing, I even bought one of Leslie Sansone's walking dvds, This of course will be easier to do once I have room in my living room. Thank goodness I have my laptop and a little room in my bedroom.

So, here I am...baby steps. One day at time. 

Saw my doctor yesterday…at 8:30 pm! *LOL* My appt. was for 4:40. The only reason I wasn’t more upset is that he spends as much time as his patients need…he is not in and out in 5 minutes. I was with him for over an hour.

Anyway, it is now a waiting game, until I get the lab results back. Meanwhile, life goes on!

Didn't get anywhere near my bedroom today. I did however get so much done on my living room. Kent came over and took my huge couch out to the curb. I moved my loveseat against the wall where the couch was and now there is this lovely, marvelous energy flow! I feel a sense of relief and openess now, that wasn't there before.

As much as I want to get my room done, I am really happy my living room is done. I am comfortable with the fact that I didn't get done what I had planned...I'm learning to be flexible and knowing that not everything has to be done according to a plan...no guilt...no regret...just pleasure at was accomplished and the knowledge that what I want to do is still there and just waiting for me!

Life is good!

It is a beautiful morning for late May. We are only supposed to hit 69 degrees today. That make me one very happy camper! It's a "windows wide open" day!  Lots to do today, looking forward to it! Actually, I have so very much to look forward to now! I have that wonderful, quizzical feeling in the pit of my stomach as if I am waiting for something. The thing is, I have no idea what I am waiting for. It reminds me of the song from "West Side Story," called "Something's Coming." It's almost the way I used to feel as a little girl just before Christmas!  Now, however, I get the feeling I have more of a hand in the surprise. It's up to me...to be open and receptive to what ever the Goddess has in store for me.

This all ties in with my getting back to my daily rituals. I need to reconnect with my deeper self and the Goddess. I have forgotten how to listen for my inner voice, my intuition. I need to get out of myself as well, get out in the community and try to make a difference. I have a couple of ideas I wish to explore for doing volunteer work. The world does not revolve around me and I am so grateful that I can now focus on other things.

Well, time to "switch off" for Sunday and get to work. My sanctuary awaits it's turn to be "Spring Cleaned!"

Brightest Blessings,

Amethyst

Happy Saturday! It is absolutely lovely outside, I can even hear birds singing!

I was up at 6:30 and spent a couple of hours online, visiting with a friend and wending my way through emails and on line projects.Then I turned my attention to my kitchen cabinets. I rearranged my top cabinets and everything was cleaned except the floor. I was able to get in two hours of work in before I needed to rest, then finished up.

I am hoping a friend comes over tonight or tomorrow to help me move my couch out to the curb. Then I am going to put my love seat where the couch is and this will hopefully open up my very small living room!

I am in a seriously motivated spring cleaning mode. I let the apartment go for the six months I was ill; I had absolutely no energy  or interest in keeping the place clean. Well, now interest is back in spades and energy is growing day by day!

Tomorrow my focus is on my bedroom...my sanctuary. Clean, rearrange and love it! Spruce up my altar, put new sheets on the bed and my english garden quilt. Then, I'll feel comfortable doing my little daily rituals, because everything will clean and bright.

Speaking of rituals, my soul is calling out for me to resume my spiritual rituals. I have missed them...my morning and evening rituals. I have a Celtic devotional book by Caitlin Matthews that helps me ground and center myself every morning and evening. I have a handwritten journal as well as a gratitude journal which I need to catch up.

In the morning I discover who my Goddess of the day is and what my focus will be using my fairies and dolphin oracle cards. I contemplate how I want my day to progress and get my mind in the proper mind set.

In the evening I unwind, review my day, place it in the proper perspective and prepare for the sweet realm of sleep with my evening ritual. Oh yes....I have deeply missed my rituals and look forward to getting my sanctuary in a good way so I can resume.

I just can't seem to perform my rituals when my home is a mess. My mama would be proud! *LOL* Growing up I was Oscar to her Felix. She despaired of me every being even a relatively neat person. I am normally clean, but have always have a  messy side.

 I am a packrat and come by it honestly. When mama died, my sister and I went to Dad's to help him sort through her things. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mama was just as  big a packrat as I am, she just had more room to stash stuff! *ROFL* She had a whole house, I have a one bedroom apartment.

Anyway...life is good and my home is slowly coming together. Once the apartment is clean, I am going to sort through all the boxes in my small dining area. I got them out of storage last August, but never had the energy to go through them. Now I know why! *LOL*

Time to make some supper and settle down for the evening. 

Bright Blessings,

Ame

However, I did get my kitchen, bathroom, and living clean. I'm tickled I was able to get as much done as I did. (I'll be even more tickled when it doesn't take me all bloody weekend to clean my one bedroom apartment! *LOL*) I am so grateful I was able to get what I did! I'm getting stronger every week.

I was up at 6:30 this morning and hit Walmart at 7 to do my grocery shopping. I love going so early, no crowds, no lines...in and out with relative ease! Then I had brunch with a dear friend and her daughters this morning. I haven't seen her since January. It was so good to see them!

Now, I am sitting in my clean living room, blogging, watching TV (more or less) and playing another round of  fetch with my cat, Shade.

Anywho, time for bed. 

Here is to a fabulous week!

Bright Blessings,
Ame

Everyday that goes by, I find out just how large my support circle is as I have traversed this road. I am so grateful to all my wonderful friends and those people I don't know that have kept me in their thoughts and prayers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul!

I had my first follow-up appointment with my favorite oncologist and it was short and oh so sweet! I only have to see him (and have blood work) every three months, an u/s every six months, and CT once a year! AND after this round of fragmin (my injectable blood thinner) is done (on the 23rd) I don’t have to have it anymore!! WHOOHOO! (he said if I absolutely can’t stand it anymore, I can stop sooner…we’ll see)


I am one happy chickie! *sighs happily*

Happy Mother's day to all you wonderful Mother's! May it be a day of joy and so much love!

I have been trying to clean a bit today. I just have not had the energy to do much to the place since I've been sick. Now that I am getting better, I find I can do a little at a time, if I rest a lot in between. My kitchen is half done and I sat through "Hello Dolly." Now I am playing on line...so...maybe the kitchen will get done tonight. *LOL*  Last night I did all my laundry and I now I need to put it away.

I am totally falling in  love with my cat over again(although she drives me insane a lot of the time). She is the second cat I have had the joy of sharing my home with, that loves to play fetch! *ROFL* I buy her all these catnip mice and little balls with bells in them, and her favorite toy is a twisty! She brings it and drops in front me to throw for her and then she brings it back to me to do it again. If she had her way, it is all we would do...

Tomorrow is switch off Sunday for me. I borrowed the idea from Goddess Leonie (www.goddessguidebook.com). It's a day to disconnect from the computer(and for me the TV) and do something creative, fun, nourishing, and soul-enriching. I am going to go out to the Goddess Temple tomorrow morning to give thanks for my newly restored health...and to meditate and see if I can learn something new about myself, surrounded by the peace of the temple. Later, I may take myself to lunch and go see "How to Train your Dragon." I am also going to work on my room, work on my journal and whatever else gives my heart ease.

Life is slowly returning to relative normal. I am finding that I am in the process of redefining what "normal" is for me...There is so much redefining in my life! My journey is full of so much discovery and mystery right now. It is also filled with indescribable joy.

Well, time to think about dinner and finishing the kitchen.

Bright Blessings!

Ame