February 7, 2002

• Well, it is about 4:30ish my time and I am wide awake. I have cried and struggled and while I know there will be hard times ahead, I am convinced this is the best solution for both of us. As I lay awake, kajillion thoughts fighting for dominance  I try to sort things out. The one thing that keeps coming to mind is now my metamorphosis can continue in earnest! I have put my life on hold and given up most of my dreams since I got married and as Michael said, we are growing in different directions. To which I answered, I'm not growing at all...he said exactly. I hadn't thought about it actually, but he right. And there is resentment there, because I should have been growing also.

  
  

  This is a good thing and actually, as I lay wide awake, I ponderd all the things I can now do...I am looking forward to the change and growth. This will be a good year and I will grow from this. A Butterfly is a good symbol for me as emerge into my new life.

  
  

  Thank you Zera for your thoughts on things. The one thing Michael and I did agree on and that he did encourage me in was my developing spirituality. He too is a pagan and he never stifled me or insisted I follow his path. However, I have noticed, that it is difficult for me to actually practice becuase of lack of room and privacy. Both of which I will have soon enough. Good luck later today and I look forward to hearing how it went. Love and White light are winging their way to you!

  
  

  Love and Bright Blessings,

  
  

  Amethsyt

  • 7:50 am
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