June 25, 2001

• Part 2...

  
  

  Where did I leave off...Oh yes...the dreaded, wonderful, horrible, mysterious teen years! It was all those things and more! What joy there was, in the simplest things. Being with my friends, listening to all kinds of music, getting lost in my books, 4th of July, Christmas, Summer Vacation!

  
  

  As stated in my earlier entry, I was a quiet youngster. While I had no lack of friends at all, I found I liked my own company as well. I was perfectly content to be in my room with my music and my books and my dreams. My mom called me her special child, beacause I was not what she considered normal. At the ages of 11, 12, and 13, I could recite Shakespeare, listened to classical music (which I discovered on my own, same with Mr. Shakespeare!), wrote stories and poetry(such as it was), fell in love with mythology, and The Arthurian legend. Oh, and I loved musicals! I wanted to be a dancer for the longest time (still do!), but we were not wealthy, and I was tall at a young age...oh well!

  
  

  Now, don't get me wrong...my first pre-teen crush on a teen idol was Bobby Sherman, and I grew up watching the Osmond Brothers on the Andy William's show. I was giggly and silly, somewhat goofy and very day dreamy. I was very much a teeny-bopper (how I detested that label growing up! Not that crazy about now..hee..hee...hee...) and I had posters on my walls and read "Tiger Beat" and "16" magazines. I even went to four Osmond concerts through out my teen years.

  
  

  One of my best friends in jr. high school and high school was very serious, well-traveled (she had been all over the world!) and sophisticated...I had my first Champagne with her one New Years. I have heard that opposites attract and boy, did we! We shared a love of Musicals, Science Fiction (She introduced me to Ray Bradbury, who is the author I cut my teeth on, so to speak, and hurled me into a life long love affair with Sci-fi and fantasy), classical music and old movies. She taught me so much about the world, and I taught her how to relax and have silly wonderful fun! We balanced each other out. I love her to this day!

  
  

  I'll skip over of Jr. High, it was there, and I really don't have many memories of it ...except I was very much trying to fit into my skin and figure out who I was...and the adventure continues to this day!

  
  

  High school was a kick! I loved my friends and most of my teachers. I was about a "b" student and my favorite classes were English, Literature, Mythology, Marriage and Family, Vocational Child care (my senior year), and most of all...Choir! I loved to sing, I was much better in highschool than I am now. I had a marvelous teacher (actually, I had a couple, as I had been involved in choir since 1st grade.) I never was confident enough to solo and to this day, I will not sing unless there are at least four other people singing with me!

  
  

  I almost had my first date in 10th grade, There was a boy who was a year ahead of me in school, and sang bass, and his sister sat next to me in choir. We had a lot of fun together, and in one of my year books he wrote that he loved me (as he listed everything else he loved...choir, school, Cora...me...) and one day he asked me to go to a movie with him. I was stunned...(I'll cover my huge insecurity at a later date!) and excited. I really liked him! Mom and Dad said I could go, but I got cold feet and backed out. I have regretted it ever since. It is perhaps the one thing I regret most in my life. He later became a druggie (old term from school) and hung out with a bad crowd. I often wondered during my early adulthood (and I admit, it still occassionally crosses my mind), if I had gone out with him, and we had developed a relationship, would he have gone into drugs? Would his life had turned out differently? Would mine? I'll never know, and there is a sadness in me, when I think of Jim, because I have no idea what ever happend to him.

  
  

  As it turns out, he is the only one who ever asked me out...did I bring some bad luck onto my self? I didn't know about Karma then...I wonder? I remained "single" all through high school, all though I had several close wonderful guy friends. I think, at times, that was better.

  
  

  I had a great group of friends...we weren't nerds by any means,but weren't the "cool" kids either. Well... we thought we were cool, and didn't care what others thought. It was at this time I came into awareness of alternate lifestyles, as I had a best friend who was gay. He lived a couple doors down from me and we used to walk to and from school together. He was a wonderfully funny and supportive friend. He wanted more then anything to be an dancer (okay...no funny cracks here...not all my gay friends had theatrical ambitions...actually he was the only one!) Anyway, he could dance like no one I had ever seen before. He took my breath away!  Enough for now! There is more, but I have other things Ineed to do...

  
  

  Bright Blessings,

  
  

  Amethyst

  • 4:14 pm
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