Thanksgiving sorta sneaked up on me this year due to my illness, and the holiday season is upon us. While this is going to be a difficult holiday, I would be remiss in not giving thanks for all the wonderful things in my life. I am so thankful for all my friends and family who are showering me with support, strength and oh so much love! Truth be told, I'm thankful for this illness. I am learning so much about life and myself. I have always tried to live life to the fullest, but I now know there are simple things I have taken for granted! Waking up each morning, listening to my favorite music, the change of weather, my sleeping cat curled beside me, purring loudly enough to soothe me. Snuggling down in my bed, warming up, with just my nose being chilly. Text messages from my loved ones. Getting on line and chatting with friends from all over the country and the the world. Flowers, hummingbirds, sunsets, children laughing...it all sounds sounds so flippin trite, but it is so very true.
I am also grateful for the fear.It has become my constant companion; no matter how positive and upbeat I am about the upcoming surery and it's outcome, fear walks along side me. It makes me stronger, it lights up the deepest, darkest part of me and forces me to deal with things I have have long since buried. I am at a crossroads, and I can choose to deal with this illness....no...this cancer...one of two ways....I can wallow in self pity, lock the doors, draw the curtains and let the fear eat me from the inside out.
That is so not me! That is not how I deal with my life! This is just another speedbump! I embrace the the experience, I deal with the fear, I love and live my life with every breath I take! I draw on the love, support, faith and joy of my friendships. I choose life! This cancer has no power over my attitude.
In the words of my wonderful Mom..."This too shall pass!
My darling sister just left after a much too short visit. My bestest friend and soul sister is flying in tonight to take care of me after the surgery. I have this awesomely wonderful net of love and support and once again, life is good.
On a side note, speaking of love and support; Love, faith, prayers knows no single religion. Pagan, Christian, even Atheist, Agnostic, Love is Love and I am surrounded, engulfed and immersed deeply in it. It matters not what my family, friends and in this case friends of friends believe or don't believe, Love is the tie that binds. How very cool is that?