It has been far too long, I know. I have been by turns really busy and really lazy. It was a good summer as summers go. The weather was pretty decent for Sin City (didn’t hit high triple digits too often! *LOL*) and I was busy with my friends. Even with that, I was lethargic and perpetually looking forward to the cooler weather. I love September, when the morning and evenings begin to cool down a bit and the heat is not quite as oppressive.

Now that October has arrived and the weather is so much nicer (read cooler!), I am, as usual, coming out of my summer hibernation. I am feeling so much more energy and have this yearning to do things. There is such a feeling of anticipation and excitement inside, and I don’t even know why!

Fifty has been so good to me thus far. Now more than ever, I am convinced that age is a state of mind! At this rate, I will never be a “real” grown-up! *LOL* I appreciate the child like wonder I feel about life. There is so much beauty and good surrounding us. I love this quote by Albert Einstein:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.”

I love where I am at in my life. I have passed my 20 year anniversary at work, who would have believed it? Not I! I love my apartment and my darling Shade. Coming home to her is such a joy, with her purring and snuggles. (That is the only time she’ll actually let me hold her, rotten cat! *LOL*) I have friends that love and support me as well as my wonderful family. I have connected with old friends, made new ones, & have said goodbye and released others. There have been times I have stepped outside my comfort zone and survived! I look forward to doing that even more.

The recession has hit me quite a bit as it has everyone. However, I find in a strange turn, that I am in good place emotionally. While I am struggling to keep afloat in many ways and though I have had to give up several things (mostly events I usually attend), I am much more content with my life.  I am not trying to understand it; I am simply living and enjoying it. The only thing I had to miss and it broke my heart, was a dear friend’s formal wedding (I was at her actual wedding in February). I can’t wait to see pictures and hear of all the adventures!

On a side note: I have had a difficult time letting go of the past year as far as my last relationship goes. It ended so horribly and I am not sure what I did, besides be honest, to have deserved the way I was treated. I have moved on and am in such a better and much happier place than I was a year ago and yet, lately the times that the family comes to mind is much more often than it should be.

I am not one to dwell on the past. There is too much to take care of, enjoy, and be grateful for today, not to mention all the wonderful things to look forward to in the future. I know they have no power over me. It may be that something is going on with them and I am just getting the “vibes,” or perhaps it is the fact that some of my personal things are still at the house that I missed in my moving out and I am tethered to them. Every now and again, I will look for something at home and realize that it is still at their place. In any event, it is time to figure out a way to let it all go. I forgave them many months ago, but perhaps my soul didn’t believe me and I need to work on it some more.

I will find my way with this issue as I have others and all will be well. Life continues to challenge and entrance me. It has its highs & lows and I appreciate both. Life is good and I am happy. The journey continues and there is much joy. What more could I ask for in life?

Brightest Blessings,

Amethyst (aka Ame, Katie, Kimmie, Star, Brenna)