May 31, 2006

  • This is a bittersweet morning, as I sit here and contemplate this empty page. I have been awake since 4:00 and up since 5:00 which is going to make for a very long day.


    I had a really good day yesterday. Most everyone I know was having a difficult time crossing that bridge from holiday Monday to working Tuesday(pseudo-Monday). I had a surprisingly great day! It was made even better, when late in the day I was given the go-ahead to make arrangements to move into my new room at work. No more she beast to contend with in a very short while. (I have SO much cleaning and downsizing to do, I am moving into a considerably smaller area with no cupboards. A daunting task, but I am well up for it...believe me!)


    I spent hours on the phone with my ent last night and he called me at 4:00 this morning to say goodbye. He is being deployed this morning and will be gone for 3 months, incommunicado except for rare emails, he just found out he could send from underneath the ocean. I miss him already. I know it sounds silly, but I have saved some of his voice mails on my cell and my answering machine, so I can hear his voice when I feel lonely for him. I have all the stories he has written for me, so I can feel him near me.


    It is going to be hard, as we have talked every day and every night for over a year (except during his previous tour from October to January.) I am so happy we had our time in March and look forward to his return in August. We have two weeks planned to spend together and that is what we are both focusing on to get us through this long hot summer.(well, hot for me anyway)


    I am going to use this time to do some inner work. Let go of old hurts and relationships, work on my self acceptance and self empowerment. I have set goals and am working on planning rituals and gathering the tools I will need.  I will incorporate  meditating, journaling, exercising and eating healthier, writing stories, crafting, cleaning out and organising my apartment, getting rid of things I do not need, both in my apartment and in my life.


    I look back over the last several years and I am amazed at how far I have come, how much I have bloomed and grown. I can feel another blossoming at hand and this time I will have a hand in it. There is so much I want to do and I am so grateful I  have the time to delve and explore and create. How exciting is that!


    Now it is time to focus on my day and prepare for it. A clean slate, a new day, ripe with possibilities. I am very blessed!


    I wish you for a warm, fulfilling, wonderful day!


    Love, Light, and Laughter,
    Amethyst