May 2, 2006

  • Well, I promised I would try and keep a record of my experiences on my journey. Little did I realise that my first lesson would be today and I have no idea how I am going to figure this out.


    This morning I did a ten minute meditation which left me refreshed, happy and ready to face the day. I was in such a good mood.(Anyone knowing me knows that I have a horrible time with meditating, I can never calm my mind enough. I think I finally found one to start with until I can learn control and I was thrilled with how I felt afterwards.) Anyway, I got to work and I was all smiles. I knew I would face a challenge with the one person in my area that can upset me with just the sound of her voice. But I thought I was in such a good place and was keeping in mind the feelings I encountered during my meditation, that I could just tune her out. *HA*



    The person I have problems with was in rare form today. I have always gotten along with most everyone I have ever met. Not everyone of course, but darn near everyone. There are very few people I can name in my lifetime that I just don’t like. This person is at the top of the list. While I don’t hate her, the word despise comes to mind. She is the most self-centered, selfish, self righteous, loud, rude, obnoxious person I have ever had the misfortune to HAVE to work with in one room. She cares for no one but herself, she is THE single most unprofessional person I have ever worked with. There have been a couple of times that she should have been fired over the way she spoke/dealt with patients and doctors, but for some reason, they always let her off with a warning. There are at least two other people in the area that we share that have as hard a time with her as I do. I spend the better part of my day under my headphones, but I can't turn the music up loud enough to drown her out without damging my poor sensitive hearing.


    It is worse when she sits on my side of the room (As she is this week), as she feels she can sit and chat all day(and she has no volume control, her only level is LOUD). At least on the other side of the room, with the room divider between us, I can somewhat tune her out.



    Well anyway, she started in pretty much as soon as I walked in the door and I valiantly worked at tuning her out and concentrating on all the beauty of the day and all my other friends and just doing my work. But she eventually broke through my hard won wall and I was frustrated, furious and just downright put out with her. It came to me in the midst of my fuming to myself, that she is a lesson I need. I have been studying the idea that I have control over how I react to a situation or person. That my thoughts create my reality. I understand that and have had a great deal of success in the past few months with changing my circumstances by changing my thought patterns. She is the one obstacle in my studies and applications. I get angry when hers is the first voice I hear when I walk in the door in the morning, because her voice is just that loud.By the time she leaves in the afternoon, my nerves are stretched as tight as a string on guitar.


    So, apparently my homework is this....how do I change my perception of this person. How do I get to the point where her overall obnoxiousness doesn't bother me anymore. How do I learn to ignore her no matter what her decibel or obnoxiousness level? How do I maintain my own circle of happiness(I know I control that) and my tranquility without bowing to her every attempt(conscious or not) to be the center of attention and the end all and be all of our room. Such is my conundrum.


    Overall, I am in a good place...I look forward to the answers and will apply them as soon as I find them or they find me.


    Bright Blessings,
    Amethyst