July 27, 2005
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I hate this feeling of anticipation....as if something is waiting for me just around the corner. I have had it for the last few days, and it is not the first time in my life I have ever had it. I look and work searching for what is waiting for me, ready to embrace whatever it is. Unfortunately, nothing has ever come of these feelings, which is very disappointing.
I am antsy...and oh so restless...feeling as if I am standing the edge of the precipice ready to step off....not unlike the Fool in the Tarot deck. I fervently hope, this time, something wonderful comes from these feelings...I am due a little good, a little happy...a nice surprise...it's been too long.
Please don't get me wrong, I try to the find bits of happiness and joy I know are around me everyday, even the not so good times. It would be nice however, to have a just a little longer stretch of it, I believe I deserve it. Yes, I do ....I deserve it...
Bright Blessings,
Ame
