2 years ago today, my divorce became final. Happy Anniversary to me?   

Ame

Thought for the day:

Love, Light, and Laughter,
Ame

I have begun sorting through old hurts, fears, disappointments and sorrows that have been cluttering my soul for the longest time. I knew it would be difficult...I didn't know that in my dealing with issues, I would break into tears at the oddest moments (not to mention inconvenient). I know this is supposed to be good and healing...but the pain is deeper than I have ever allowed myself to believe.

In other news, having made the conscious decision to stop looking for a partner/lover/mate, and NOT believing that once I am not looking, one will fall into my life; I am having a difficult time convincing my heart to follow my brain's lead.

 I know I do not need anyone in my life to validate me...I am of worth in and of myself...I am a good person (most of the time) and for the most part like myself.  I WANT a lover/partner/mate in my life..I want and need the companionship, the touching, the holding, the loving, the talking, the laughing and the tears, the downs and the ups...Okay there is a small part of me that wants to know the I am special to someone......one person who loves and cherishes me as much as I do him.

So, here I am...working on getting my inside life cleaned out...fall cleaning so to speak. I want to face the new year fresh and clean, ready for the changes that I can feel drawing me inexorbly towards a future I'm not sure I am ready for yet.  I know, that does not make sense, but alot of what I am feeling and trying to communicate does not make sense, especially to me. I have alot of work ahead of me this winter.

Love , Light, and Laughter

me