October 17, 2004
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I had no idea it had been so long since my last posting! It has been an unusual and hectic few months, and I, for one am glad to see they are coming to an end.
Last week was our local faire. For the first time in years I did NOT have fun. There were a few pleasant moments, don't get me wrong, but it was long...and HOT and WINDY. I remembered something that weekend also. I am like a two year old who get overly tired. I get weepy and cranky. *Pout* I HATE it when I get that way. I am still exhausted from faire and all I want to do is sleep.
A moment to catch up.......Sadly, and much to my dismay, the relationship between *J*, *D* and myself did not work out. The distance factor was the major reason, although my insecurities played a large part also. I fear I am destined to spend my life alone, as my fears and insecurities are always going to inhibit me.
I met a guy on line on labor day..who seemed to adore me......we spent great long amounts of time talking on the phone and on line for weeks...I was supposed to visit him for a week...we made plans......then he just disappeared.
So I have decided that I must learn to be happy in and of myself. I can't wait around for someone to come and love me...life is too short. I am making plans. I have things I want to do.people I want to visit...I need to turn my journey inward.........learn more about me and draw closer to the Goddess. I have a lot of work to do...and right now...as selfish as it sounds...It is all for ME!