April 13, 2004
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Life has been busy and I find I am not online as much as I would like to be. I need to catch up on all my favorite people, as I have wondered every day how you all are doing.
To all outward appearences, my life is going fairly well. My new found self acceptance has made things so much more pleasant. Yet, for the last few days, I have been a mild depression, and I can't for the life of me, figure out why.
I did receive news that my ex-husband is getting married...again.(The man is 36and going on his 3rd marriage). I suppose this is good news for him and his lady love(whom I have known as long as he has and as soon as Mike was "free" she went after him with such determination, I suppose it was inevitable.) I, for a very short time, felt again the unfairness of life and ruminated as to why since he asked me for the divorce, I have been alone, while he has had someone since BEFORE he asked for the divorce. I know! Life is not fair! I want to find someone I can share my life and love with, I know this is a lot to ask, or seems to be for me. And 95% of the time, I am alright with the being alone. But, damn it...sometimes the loneliness and sadness sneaks up on me and I HATE it!
However, I have since worked through this and was fine...until last week. I don't feel that my ex's situation has anything to do with this little bout, but I'm sure I could be wrong...I have been before and will be again. But even the thought of Corona Faire beginning this week has failed to excite me, THAT is how I know there is something more here than I have figured out...as yet.
In any event......life does indeed go on and I muddle through as always. Spring is ready to jump into summer here, although we have (hopefully)a couple more weeks of mild, pleasant weather.
Faire season is upon me and if nothing else, I do get to see my very dearest friends every week for seven weekends, and that is a WONDER*FULL thing to look forward to indeed.
Life is not bleak ad neither am I ....I will shake this funk I am in and come out the other side sunny and smiling. In the meantime I am now going to visit some of my Xanga friends and catch up a bit on some of my favorite people.
Brightest Blessings,
Amethyst
Comments (3)
sup, whats up? just randomly came on your site. awesome!, byebye.
First things first...BIG HUGS!!!!!
Your comment on my site touched me so much. I too miss you more than I ever imagined I would. I enjoyed the few precious moments we got to share together. And look forward to a time when we can spend more time together. Sorry I could not connect with you when I was in Vegas. But all my moments were spent with mom. I'm glad I had those moments. Mom passed away a week after I got home.
I love you sister and feel happy to know that the world is ever changing in positive ways for you. The funk will pass. Focus on the light that always surrounds you hunny.
hey, wow, you seem like a real interesting person, pz