Well, it is my last week in my little apartment. I am going to miss it so much. It has been my sanctuary and refuge since that fateful day just about 2 years ago, when Michael asked mr for the divorce. Hard to believe it is almost 2 years.  It is going to be difficult to say goodbye to my home. I have to believe what I am doing is for the best. I have so much to look forward to in the coming year. This is but a bump in the road.

I have changed so much in these past two years. I was a shy and quiet little girl, never believing that anyone could or would be attracted to me after being totally rejected by the one man who should have loved me fully. Little did I know, that this gift (for that is what my marriage to him and divorce from him has beem) would open up a whole new universe for me, and I would discover that I am not the flawed one he made me think I was. I am worthy of love. I am beautiful...all of me! I am a person worth knowing and caring about. I am just sorry it took me all this time to discover that about myself.

I have so much love to give and I am not going to stash my heart away on the off chance I get hurt again. I have to put my heart out there and take the risks. How tragic would it be if I walled my heart away and played it safe, only to miss the opportunity to find my own true love or two even? (I never believed there was only one person ou there for each of us).

So as I face my 45th birthday (Which, by the way, I plan on CELEBRATING all year!), I embrace my future and my moving is a part of that future and the future looks wonderful.

Love, Light and Laughter,
Amethyst

You are the exotic pin-up. Nothing about you is
ordinary. You are mysterious and lean toward
foreign places and exciting men.

What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks to WntrRaven for the link to this site!  One of my Goal for this year(whichI have yet to post) is to pick up my studies of the Tarot!

Well, another new year come and gone. Not my most favorite of holidays, I spent it with my soon to be new roommates watching movies. So, it was just another night like any other. I spent New Year's day witha migrine which woke me up and carried over to Friday. That made for a miserable day at work. It finally started disapating shortly after I got home.

The weekend was spent recouperating, I slept a lot Saturday and was on-line the rest of the time...What a surprise!! I spent most of the weekend chatting with my favorite people, getting to know new frinds in a chat room I was invited to join, and much to my delight, I have found a Top.

We have been talking for a couple of months now and we have so much in common. He is Pagan and enjoys Renaissance Faires among other things. I told him about my new chat room and I was in search of a Top and he asked if I would consider him. We talked for a long while and came to an understanding.

What I like most about him, is that he expects me to have my own opinions, likes and dislikes, He does not want me to change who I am for him, he wants to help me fulfill myself and who I wish to become. He does not want a door mat. He is encouraging me to explore my sexuality, my wants, needs and desires. He wants me to be happy and confident in who I am.

My trust in him is growing and while there is a that fear of getting hurt again...I have to put my heart out...again. One of these day it will find a home. I have to keep trying, even though part of me insists in sheltering my heart up and going on with life as it is now.

So, I forge ahead...filled with hope and a pinch of caution. This weekend I will post my goals for the year. This is the year of AMETHYST! *lol*

Love, Light and Laughter,
Amethyst