An Early Wish....
To all my dear friends here at Xanga, I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving.
Despite all the pain of this year, I have so very much to be Thankful for!
At the very top of my list are My Friends who are my Sweetest Blessings of all and I love you all very much.
Brightest of Blessings dearest Friends of my Heart.
Amethyst 
I’m sorry….my divorce is final at last. I was in a state of numbness for a while, and for a bit all I wanted to do was cry. But that does not solve anything and besides I have had 8 months to prepare for it and truth to tell, I was more upset when he actually filed, so now I am ready to jump into my new life.
So, I wish the very best of luck to my ex-husband and hope he finds what he is searching for. I wish him peace, joy and fulfillment in all his endeavors. I wish him well in his new life.
Love, Lightand Laughter,
Amethyst
This is really bugging me. I was so looking forward to moving on with my life and the possibilities that were presenting themselves to me, but all I can do is grieve. And now I am having to deal with the physically being alone again, which I thought I had finally conquered. Before I met Michael and even after we were married, I treasured my alone time. I liked being alone with me and discovering who I am and I was fun to be with! Now the silence sometimes screams around me like a storm. Weekends especially are awful.
If Michael had filed while I was able to see my faire family, I would have had the physical as well as the emotional support I seem to be craving since Friday….I am a very touchy feely (For lack of a better term) person and there are times I ache just hold and to be held and physically connect with someone. I am ashamed to say it, but I have been a very spoiled little girl over the past few months. And now that Faire is over for the season, I am a very lonely little girl. I have been very pouty and temper tantrum-y lately.
So much has happened this year and I haven’t even begun to document it all. For the first time in my life, men are noticing me and flirting and playing with me and wanting to be with me. It has been a wonder to be to see the change in me as I am learning how to flirt and striving to keep the negative self image that Michael encouraged by his rejection, at bay. Michael never played with me at faire or at home. There is so much more to sex than I ever imagined! The nuances, the subtlety, the blatantness, the looks, the glances, the mysterious smiles, the hands (oh the lovely, warm hands…hands that like to explore…Amethyst purrs!)um…sorry…getting lost in loverly memories {Grins}
michael called and said he filed for the divorce today. i should be rejoicing, but i find myself in tears instead. i just don't understand...it's what i want...i know i am better off and so much happier with out him in my life. i suppose this is one of those times when my mama would have said "this too shall pass".
hearts are tender things...