All Righty then! I found an apartment and will put in my application tomorrow(Sunday). I love it. It's a little more than I wanted to spend, but it comes with everything... Washer and dryer, microwave, garden/roman tub (HUGE draw!), dishwasher, ceiling fans in each room, a patio, alarm system, 24 hour exercise room, two pools, 2 saunas, jacuzzis, 24 hour security, and it is a gated community. I hope I get it! I will be moving the first of the month.
We have settled on who gets what(We have not acquired much during our marriage so it was fast and painless!) I just need to begin going through things and getting rid of almost everything I do not need. I made my appointment today to get my tattoo on my birthday! Huzzah! and I went shopping last night and put a couple of things on Layway, for my new home!
I am,surprisingly enough, feeling much better about all of this. The relief is overwhelming, beacuse I do not have to worry about him any more. He has come home drunk every night since he asked me for the divorce and It doesn't bother me. It's like someone disconnected the worry switch in me!
Friday was horrible and I hit the angry stage of things. I wasn't angry about the divorce, but angry that our life and marriage was all based on a lie. As I have looked back over the last five years, there have been many signs, pointing to trouble. I, in my desire to work at having a good marriage, didn't see themfor what they were. Whether I refused to see them, or really just didn't see them ... I don't know. I think I was very determined to make a good marriage and maybe I just chose to work harder. Not realizing that I was doing all the work and it was all one sided.
At some point on Friday, something clicked, and I began to feel better. I was looking forward to my new home and all the opportunities that lay ahead of me. I have alot of self discovery ahead. After work I went to Wal-mart and shopped and then went to some friend's house where we had a "let's support Amethyst" dinner. One of my dear friends was there I had not seen in about a year, and I was afraid I would break down when I saw him, but I didn't. See, he was the one that fixed Michael and myself up 6 years ago. We had a ball, and I have felt really well and eager to move since then.
When Michael came home last night, we had a long talk and while he see his drinking as a symptom of the problem, I see his drinking as THE problem. We got beyond that(sort of, he sees what he wants to see!) and we will, I believe, stay friends, for I told him the same thing I told him the time he was arrested for DUI, Nothing he can do will ever change the fact that I love him...I may not like him a whole lot sometimes, I may not like what he is doing...but I will always love him. I know now, that if he is as unhappy as he says he is and if I am as unhappy as I am now willing to see that I have been, we truly can not be together anymore... He is his own worst enemy and now I don't have to watch him day by day destoying himself.
So, enough for tonight. Things will get better with time, I look forward to my new adventure and the person I will become as a result of that adventure. I wonder who she will be?
Love and Bright Blessings,
Amethyst 
Happy Birthday Roxy!
